Friday, January 25, 2008

The S stands for soccer

Just a quick note to the seatle front office before they choose an official name....please resist the siren call of the FC appellation.  


I admit it, FC sounds good.   Add it to anything and your organization has an instant glow of class and a glint of secure respectability but come on, seatle already has a football club and they're called the seahawks.

I know we are stupid americans but that is what we are and soccer, not football, is what we call the beautiful game.  MLS has some unfortunate team names but so do all american sports, it's just what we do.  The argument that the name Royals is somehow better than the name Wizards is a thin one.  Seatle, let's continue this american tradition, to simply slap a FC on the name would be robbing us of our birthright.  Houston had the oilers, what the hell is an oiler? What the hell is a steeler or an astro or a mighty duck.  Come on seatle give us something absurd and vague and horrible and then in time we will accept it without question...you can't do worse than the red sox, that's a team named after a freaking article of clothing.  The seatle cravats, how about that for an instant glow of class.


FC Dallas should be SC Dallas ( the queen observing foreigners in canada get a pass) and on the same subject, tangentially, someone please tell me what king they are referencing in Salt Lake.  Team Magical Pajamas would at least have regional significance.  D.C. United, united what, the masses to the virginia suburbs?


Here's the most compelling reason to forgo the FC, the wrath of the gods.  I believe that the soccer gods would take offense and conspire to never let mls seatle slake their thirst on the sweet nectar of glory.  MLS' FC history has been short but in Dallas' case provocative; the soccer gods are not happy and it shows.

D.C. United's successful history, again what did they unite exactly, must be attributable to offerings, burnt or otherwise, proffered by shrewd owners to capricious yet placable gods.  

So seatle if you can't get your hands on D.C.'s supplicatory recipe do the right thing and stay away from the dreaded FC.  

7 comments:

Soccerdotnet said...

he he he
dont 'S' stand for
stuppid man...

nice post
i like it....

Martek said...

Mister 3D, a brilliant post. And while we're at it, doing away with names in front of the cities should also be included. So Red Bull New York, I'm talking to you!

Oiler digs for Oil, duh said...

I agree on the FC part, outside of that this post is pretty ignorant.

SC Dallas Fan said...

Great post - ignore the oiler crap. I live in Dallas and nobody who made a fortune in the oil & gas business is referred to as an 'oiler'.

SC Seattle Soccerers
Mighty Peles
Seattle Tang (while we're on the Pele thing)
Seattle Burning Itch

playtherapy said...

Any other sports we Americano's can rename while we're at it? If the rest of the world doesn't don't go for it, it might give us reason for another preemptive invasion. Hell- why wait for Castro to die? From this perspective, it might get the right wingers to finally adopt the Beautiful Game- a good reason to invade anyone who calls soccer- futball, fusball, or footy. Italy will be wiped out- the Midwest probably views calcio as a folded over pizza. Fantastico post, Herr 3-D!

gh said...

Teams are named FC all over the world, even if they call it calcio.

American soccer history is filled with great FCs.

playtherapy said...

Good point, gh, but it does seem a bit ironic...