Friday, May 1, 2009

Going where Shep and Greg fear to tread



Now, I love Extra Time. Well, maybe love is too strong a word. I'll stick with, "It's just about the only MLS deal around, so I'll watch it."

However, I have to say that I think Shep Messing and Greg Lalas just turned in the wussiest preview rundown I have ever seen. Going over a whole weekend slate, the only game they're going to predict is Colorado/RSL? WHAT is up with that?!

To tell you the truth, coming from a former keeper and defender, I think they've gone a bit yella.

Go out on a limb boys. Don't just tell me that the Seattle/Chicago game is the most attractive one on the schedule. I know that already. Tell me who's going to win and why. Post your predictions. Stand behind them. BE! A! MAN! (Or in your cases, two men.)

Look at me, my overall record on the year is 12-26. That is a percentage of .316! Now in another sport, that might net me a million dollar contract. But here, it is absolute rubbish. But am I afraid to advertise that fact? Am I afraid to declare my total lack of quality in the prediction business? Here's the deal, I know I suck, and in that I find honor. I'll get it where I can.

Shep and Greg, nut up or shut up you guys.

PREDICTIONS:

CREW at TORONTO. 2-1 Columbus Toronto at the top of the Eastern table? Mirrors, guys. They're doing it with mirrors. Columbus is starting to put it together. Look at how they were playing before Gino Padula got sent off. With that, MLS refs proved once again they have no idea when and where to use which cards. Yellows where reds should be and reds where yellows should be. Kind of a parable there though, as yellow will triumph over red at BMO Field. Crew are without Hesmer, Iro, Moffat and Frankie is questionable. Still, even though DeRo is questionable for the Reds, the Crew hold on to get their first win. Toronto's run ends here.

FC COOPERS AT DC UNITED: 3-1 DCU I give Frisco the one because Kenny Cooper is that good. It is good for them that there is no relegation in MLS or they'd be the Texas Toon. May 9 = the Kick 'Em While They're Down Hoe-Down. DCU, you get the honors first. Enjoy.

SEATTLE AT CHICAGO: 2-1 Fire Now this is the sort of game that many will tout as being a preview of MLS Cup 2009. But since neither one of these teams wear orange, I don't know what they're talking about. (HAH!) OK look, Kasey Keller is good and all, but he is not, nor has he ever been, the (insert deity of choice here)-made cast of the Perfect Goalkeeper. He is mortal and he will give up goals and he will lose. And against a virtually full-strength Chicago side at home riding the wave of last week's comeback and an on form Brain McBride, this is the week.

RSL at RAPIDS: 2-0 Colorado The Rocky Mountain Rivalry is a fun one to watch, if only because you have two historically crappy sides whose only hope of glory year in and year out is to beat up the other. Good times!! A 6-0 pasting of New England aside, it would be folly to read too much into that. That was a perfect storm and unlikely to be repeated. And, you know what, Colorado is not that bad this year.

las chivitas at SAN JOSE: 2-1 Goatlings The Quakes are in big trouble and Chivas is rolling. Sounds like upset time right? Well, maybe. But not this week. Chivas holds on and Zach Thornton does just enough to keep his mythos going.

RBNY at GALAXY: 0-0 Look, paint peeling! Let's go check that out.

DYNAMO at REVOLUTION: 2-1 Houston You know, this one has tie written all over it, but my orange heart will not allow me to go that route. And for those of you hoping that last week's 6-0 loss to RSL means something, check out the RSL note above and know this: Matt Reis is eligible for this game. Of course, he's just about the only one who is. Ralston's out. Twellman's out. Albright's out. Castro's out. Nyassi's questionable. And we're just about at full strength with Ade Akinbiyi and Hainault. Still, artificial surface. And the weather report has it raining and in the 50s. Still, my heart says 2-1 and I will go with my heart.

So take that Shep and Greg! What have you got?