Back to the Future

Well, after my prediction barrage two weeks ago, I continue to prove a few things.

One is that it's a durn fine thing I stay away from Las Vegas, though I fully expect to get multiple invitations from sports book owners very soon.

Two, when your crystal ball is cracked, you really should chuck it in the garbage.

But now that my flux capacitor has a new supply of plutonium, I will fire up the ol' De Lorean and be back in a sec with some "predictions."

OK, I'm back. WOW! What a weekend of games!! You'll never believe it. I enter this time with an 8-21 mark overall on the year, and my friends, I am here to tell you that this is about to change. And awaaay we go:

las chivitas at Toronto: 2-1 Reds. Earth Day is Soccer Night in Canada. Excuse me, but I just can not believe in the Amerigoats. Zach Thornton? You have got to be kidding me. This is not 1998 and the man will break down. And tonight is the night.

RBNY at Kansas City: 0-0. Davy Arnaud just can not score from 30 yards every game. And without that, the Wiz offense looks like, well, New York's. JSO goes for the road tie again, the scumwad.

Chicago at Columbus: Crew 3-2. Now we're talkin'. The Crew is just not this bad. And Chicago is this good. Columbus' rest from last week does them well as Schelotto scores a late game-winner to douse the Fire.

Revs at RSL: 1-0 New England That kid in Reis' goal is good, but what does RSL in is their normal lack of finishing. Shalrie beats Rimando early and the Revs hold on for the road win.

LA at Colorado. Rapids 2-1. Colorado is actually pretty good, which I can't believe I'm typing. The Gals, however, are not (excepting that Landon kid, who just might make something of himself in this league someday), which is easy to type.

FC Horrible at Chivas USA. Goaties 2-1 Can Kenny Cooper score more than 80 percent of Frisco's goals this season before the summer transfer window opens? Signs point to Yes. But it's not enough at the Home Depot Center.

San Jose at Seattle. Sounders 2-0. Kasey Komes bacK and Kompletely Korrals the Kwakes.

DCU at NYRB: 1-0 DCU. Olsen scores again as NY wonders what that big net at the other end of the field is for anyway.

KC at Toronto. 0-0 What, did you think I was going to predict that Toronto would win two in a row? Even I'm not that nutso. Two tired teams end this marathon "weekend" sputtering to get the heck out there.