The future? Let me tell you about the future

So here are my quick predictions for the weekend. Taking after bloggin' buddy Jeff Bull, I've decided to make these predictions without investigating any factors whatsoever, what Jeff calls the "Bubble Boy" approach.


So entering my bubble and armed only with the schedule, this is what I see happening in MLS Week 2:

Toronto at Columbus: 4-2 Crew. At the Trillium Cup, De Rosario, in his final game before suffering an injury playing on BMO's artificial surface in his home debut, scores twice, but the Crew drive willy-nilly through that porous defense to win.

Chicago at DCU: Fire win 2-0. DC owners give Soehn his own personal red card with five minutes to go in the game. Christian Gomez named player-coach.

New England at New York: Revs 3-1. Where was this New York team in November last year? Man, they suck.

KC at Colorado: 0-0. Davy Arnaud learns that those kinds of long distance bombs just climb and keep climbing in that rare air of Denver. When those blasts don't go in, KC realizes they have no offense. Colorado on the other hand, has always known this about themselves and feels lucky to escape with the draw.

Dynamo at SJ: 8-0 Orange!!! Just kidding. Actually, I see Dynamo having a tough time scoring with no Kei and no Ching and Stewie looking sluggish. So my actual prediction is a glad-we're-out-of-there 0-0 draw. (But I'm rooting for 8-0, as well as some tough justice meted out to Nick Garcia in KK's absence.)

RSL at Seattle: 2-1 RSL. You know, I'm getting a little tired of all this Sounders' dream season stuff. Screw Seattle. RSL wasn't in the Western final by accident last year. Ljundberg gets Seattle's only goal on a penalty.

las chivitas at Frisco: (Hmmm, trying to figure out how to predict a result where they both lose. Darn!) 1-0 Amerigoats before a stirring national TV crowd of 3,000 vendors and front office staff.

And these special predictions:

USA 2, El Salvador 0: Chingy and Lando get in there early

Mexico 3-1 Costa Rica: I still think El Tri is in deep, deep trouble of not qualifying this year, but not in their first home qualifier of 2009 against this team. Nery's rant fires them up.

And courtesy of Keeper Notes, here's the upcoming schedule of live footy on TV:

Saturday
World Cup qualifying
Iran v Saudi Arabia, 9:30 am, Fox Soccer Channel
Wales v Finland, 10 am, GolTV
Germany v Liechtenstein, 2 pm, GolTV
Slovenia v Czech Republic, 2:30 pm, Fox Soccer Channel
Uruguay v Paraguay, 3 pm, ESPN Deportes
Spain v Turkey, 4 pm, GolTV
Mexico v Costa Rica, 5:30 pm, Telemundo
El Salvador v USA, 8 pm, ESPN2 & TeleFutura
Sunday
MLS: FC Dallas v Chivas USA, 2 pm, TeleFutura
WPS: Los Angeles Sol v Washington Freedom, 5 pm, Fox Soccer Channel
Wednesday, April 1
World Cup qualifying
Australia v Uzbekistan, 4 am, Fox Soccer Channel
North Korea v South Korea, 6 am, Fox Soccer Channel
Kazakhstan v Belarus, 9:30 am, Fox Soccer Channel
Czech Republic v Slovakia, 1:30 pm, Fox Soccer Channel
Wales v Germany, 1:45 pm, GolTV
USA v Trinidad & Tobago, 6:30 pm, ESPN2 & Galavision
Thursday, April 2
MLS: Real Salt Lake v Columbus Crew, 8 pm, ESPN2
Saturday, April 4
EPL: Newcastle v Chelsea, 9 am, Fox Soccer Channel
EPL: Fulham v Liverpool, 11:30 am, Fox Soccer Channel
MLS: Toronto FC v Seattle Sounders FC, 3 pm, Fox Soccer Channel
MLS: Houston Dynamo v DC United, 6:30 pm, Fox Sports Houston, KHOU 11.2, TV Informa
All times CT. More at livesoccertv.com.